Video: The Ally Mindset™ Overview

Video Transcript

Writing a book is a marathon sprint or a sprint marathon – I‘m not sure which. And I’ll admit, at this point, I was stuck. I could talk about the differences between the four relationship dynamics, but not necessarily in a way that was succinct.

And then two things happened. I read “Who’s Got Your Back?” by Keith Ferrazzi (a great title), and I also had the opportunity to hear Brené Brown talk about courage and vulnerability. So, how did that help me? It crystallized the four elements that for me make up the Ally Mindset. Let me tell you about each of them.

(0:50) So the four elements of the Ally Mindset are: Abundance & Generosity, Candor & Debate, Courage & Vulnerability, and Action & Accountability. And for me it’s the “and” that makes all the difference.

(1:10) Let’s start with Abundance & Generosity. If you look at success as a limited resource, then you’re more likely to hoard information and work to keep this for yourself. For me, I approach life and business with an abundance mindset. There is more than enough success to go around for all and each of us. And I’m often asked, “Who are your major competitors?” And to be honest, I don’t pay attention.

Because, I hope that they are as successful as my team and I are; and I want to be the best version of me that I can be versus a second hand copy of whatever they may be doing.

(1:52) And that leads to the “& Generosity” because I have lost count of the number of business owners that you might describe as being competitors to me, that I’ve sat down and coached and mentored and shared my story and experiences all to help accelerate their individual success. So, the first step in an Ally Mindset is Courage & Vulnerability.

(2:15) Which leads to the second one – Courage & Vulnerability. I’ll admit – I’m British. You may have guessed that from the accent. I’ve had a wall of various thicknesses that protected me from my professional world. I didn’t talk about family and life – they were very separate from my work persona.

And courage and vulnerability is about being able to admit when we don’t know, when we’re uncertain, or perhaps when we’re about to take a risk. It’s about being able to ask for help and then more importantly, to take it.

(2:55) The turning point for me was when I was working with a CFO in England. He was struggling with elements of his role and his team, but he was also struggling with elements of his home life. And, after a few months of executive coaching, he turned to me and he said, “You know so much about me, yet I know so little about you.”

And I reflected on that moment, and while I can’t admit that the wall has come down completely, I can certainly show that the door has started to open, and that by sharing my true thoughts has allowed others to become vested in my success. It has allowed me to build stronger relationships with those that I come in contact with. Courage & Vulnerability go hand in hand, and are the second element to an Ally Mindset.

(3:42) The third element, Candor & Debate. These are critical because it’s about sharing your point of view, even when it’s controversial, even when it might be at some personal risk. It goes back to Courage & Vulnerability, but it links the two, because for me it’s not just about stating your point of view, throwing the grenade and then stepping back and watching the ensuing chaos. It is about the debate, the active listening, the conversation that follows that results in increased learning. It’s about discussing the undiscussables, the elephant in the room, the hot topics, but doing it in a way that allows an informed decision that moves the team forward. Candor & Debate is the third part of an Ally Mindset.

(4:31) And then the final piece is Action & Accountability. And, again, it’s a two-way street. It takes two to tango, and I should know, I’m a ballroom dancer. So accountability is about me living up to those commitments that I’ve made. Accountability is about if I’ve chosen to be an Ally to you, that I do that consistently 24/7, and not just on the good days. I do it in the tough moments too. Action is about walking the talk. It is about taking those deliberate decisions, behaviors, commitments, that allow us to grow together and deliver a successful outcome.

So there you have it, the four elements of an Ally Mindset: Abundance & Generosity, Courage & Vulnerability, Candor & Debate, and Action & Accountability.

A special thank you to Keith Ferrazzi, as I’m honored that he wrote the foreword to my book.

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